To Love Like Jesus

I got into a great conversation about church with a co-worker. I was saying u notice how first ladies are always a little spunky and the pastor after they've had the mike for a while, like to lean juuusst a little closer to them to let them know, alright u been going and going and going lol, somehow that got us into the conversation of Love. And how I feel like PEOPLE are messing up the church and that modern day christians that like to pass judgment about everylittle thing are like the pharises (sp?) of the bible and that Jesus came along and showed people that the law means nothing if ur heart is coal. He taught people how to love truly love, he accepted mistakes, not that he condoned or even encouraged, but accepted them as that mistakes, my bads per se and said ok i love u sin no more. U know? I try to live my life like that. Some call me too forgiving, but the Bible says as much as within your control, live peaceably with all man. In order to live peaceably you gotta forgive and you gotta LOVE. There is this cantankerous woman here that picks a fight when no one is fighting with her. She should read that verse over and over, cuz the thing is I'm not bothered, but she's there still talking about DUMB stuff hours later and I've moved on. And I truly believe its because I take that verse to heart, I try to imitate Jesus' love which was PATIIIIIEEENNNTTT. Im not that patient yet, but I am more patient than i EVER thought I'd be.

That patience and that inability to hold a grudge--seriously no matter how hard I try has trickled over in my relationships. And not just with Mike, but family, friends, co-workers. My cousin told me that when we were growing up, she hated arguing with me, cuz we would argue each other down-as much as a 5 year old could and then in the next breath be like so weren't we supposed to go to the park. And she'd be like I'm still mad at you, and I'd genuinely be like for what I GENUINELY forgot I was mad. Me and my sister fight like cats and dogs slam our doors then come out and be like u still got those red earrings or be like don't forget about our date night. She's like me there, as Mike says I hold grudges like my hands hold water, it doesn't happen. I think that's why my circle is so tight, those around me hold grudges like that also. Forget why ur mad or whatever--I think that must be why I get soooo angry when I finally do, cuz I get soo hurt, but even then after a while, its like u hurt me? Whatever, what are we doing for lunch.

All that to say-I'm not a perfect person, DEF not a perfect christian. But I yearn to love like Jesus loved. TRULY LOVED PEOPLE. Not with judgment or thumping the law but loving them despite their sins and inspite of our sinful nature. That's the motive behind his sacrifice right, his TRUE AND PERFECT LOVE FOR MANKIND. More than anything I want to LOVE like Christ and everything else will just fall into place.

I don't want to be a pharisee (man I'm having issues spelling that word). Even though I'm a lawyer I don't want to be a law-thumper. I don't want my actions to be right but my heart is cold, I'd rather mess up a few times, with the yearning to love full and exploding in my heart. That's the love that JESUS taught.